on rest and pleasure
I have written about rest before, approximately two years ago. Rest is on my mind once again. Rest & pleasure.
I started writing this from an artistic retreat/strategy session for a residency for Chicago-based artists. We were hosted at a Quaker boarding school in rural Iowa with cows and feisty outdoor cats and acres and acres of green. If I ever leave the midwest, I think I’ll miss the summers the most. All the fields of wildflowers with the bright sun beaming on them, then the fireflies that light up the night…it soothes my soul immediately.
Swarm is special. Everyone here has a certain level of intuitiveness and openness. It’s is a space that centers rest & process over productivity. It feels timely that this last minute weekend trip fell within the first two weeks of July, time I took off from client work. I launched my grant writing & creative facilitation business at the end of June. To celebrate, I bought myself an Edible Arrangement & set my OOO email notifications for 7/1 - 7/16. The dope thing about working for yourself is deciding your own breaks and determining your own rest…if you let yourself.
When people talk about becoming an entrepreneur, the messaging is always about how hard it is, how in your first two years you make no money and work 24/7. And that’s just how it is. But I prioritize rest as a Black woman existing in this body and in a world where labor is expected of me. I’ll never take my own labor for granted; I left my last full-time job because I felt my labor was taken for granted. My boss was a self-admitted workaholic who, when I made the case for a certain raise amount, told me that consulting work never stops and there isn’t any downtime.
White-dominant workspaces are permeated with a false sense of urgency. Everything needs to happen now now now. But it’s never that serious. Nothing fell apart in my time away. And my clients are understanding enough & appreciative enough of my labor to not make a fuss about me taking time off. Truthfully, I’d drop any client who felt otherwise.
Starting and running a business is a creative practice. Writing grants is a creative practice. Teaching is a creative practice. Rest is a creative practice. So, I make space for rest and pleasure this summer. For Brazilian waxes (not pleasurable…but the results!), for hazy afternoon beers, for getting sundrunk on the beach, for floor seat Beyoncé tickets, for vases filled with wildflowers, for thirst traps, for sexy date nights, for self-celebration. I am resplendent and I’m basking in it.